The Best Fruitcake!

Sorry, I don't have a picture for this one.
Don't knock it until you've tried it . . .be sure to read instuctions all the way through before trying . .

Recipe for Fruitcake
1 Cup Water
1 Cup Sugar
4 Large Eggs
2 Cups Dried Fruit
1 tsp. Baking Soda
1 tsp. Salt
1 Cup Brown Sugar
Lemon Juice
Nuts
1 Gallon Whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
Pour 1 level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup.
Turn off the mixer.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares.
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350°.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.Who the heck eats fruitcake anyway?
Ha, ha! Michele
P.S. Marie, you have my permission to delete this later! :)